My view on ‘The Great Indian Kitchen’
The Great Indian Kitchen — Malayalam movie has struck the chord that I was feeling poignant of not being able to do anything to bring about change. The movie felt very personal and the association with the film’s protagonist was over-whelming that I could not stop myself from nodding to many scenes for it depicted the reality that I grew up watching up close happening to the women in my family, while some witnessing myself first hand.
The movie was recommended as a must watch by my friend and then when I made a little bit of research realized it’s not been available in any of the popular OTT platforms except for a Malayalam stream. I thought to myself I would somehow get to watch it.
In the mean time I heard about why the film despite being popular among few critics and getting praise from many corners dint happen to have a better release. News said that the film with its association to the Sabirimalai controversy, many OTT platforms refused to acquire rights, citing it dint go with some of their terms and not giving an actual reason.
A week later I happened to somehow catch the film and I was glad I did. Running for a mere 100 Minutes, the film dint for a moment made us feel that this scene was neither unnecessary nor dragging. From the opening scene of the girl dancing cutting to the popular bride seeing ceremony then on to arranged marriage and then the girl living through the misogynist life in her husband’s house, is a step by step build up of how the character, adjusts, tolerates, struggles and finally outbursts.
Let’s take a look at every little character in the film that adds to the narrative. The protagonist showcases her graph of tolerance right from the word go to the end when she just can’t take it anymore. Despite which in the end, when she goes to see her mother, she has been asked did you walkout for such a silly reason and is asked of her to say sorry and get back to her family! There you have it with this example, the very casual way of how women are conditioned to think and react when it comes to family and men in India especially.
The movie of course calls out the attitude of “men will be men” in many situations, yet the roles in which the different woman plays, clearly suggest that women are still not supporting one another and are always trying to fit in among the chaos rather than help each other to break free.
Starting with the Mother-in-law, who was doing all the chores in the house without for once questioning it, paves way for her daughter-in-law to carry on the tradition without the slightest feel of guilt or regret. She might have struggled with that kind of men, but why does she never raises a voice against the men in her life or is she responsible for bringing up a son who will question these rather supporting them? That’s because these woman (including some in my own family) are conditioned to believe that’s how life goes and we just have to adjust to the needs of the men in the family.
The sister-in-law who calls her mother for helping her out during her delivery, carries the same thought process and she goes down in the list of heartless woman when she says her mother to unburden herself from the duties for which there is now a new slave to take on the chores.
The mother of the lead, advises her to follow, adjust and abide by the rules of the house, as it is now her family. These women portray that they have made peace with this choice of life and accepted it as their destiny.
So is the case of the aunt who steps in to help with the house hold duties during the wife’s menstrual days, as the men in the house are wearing the sacred holy malai for visiting the Sabarimalai temple. Her inappropriate act of following what was preached to her and forcing them to the next generation mindlessly showcases the side of many women in the country who follow rituals in the name of sacredness & traditions without questioning them.
The house-help, however is a relief when she conveys her plight and why she is taking up the duties with a pinch of salt. She makes us (the women audience) side with her reasoning for we understand the place she comes from, to make such choices for herself.
The sad reality of dependency of women to the men in the family, is portrayed in the scenes where the lead continuously keeps reminding her husband to get a plumber to fix the leak, to get her sanitary napkins and also when she appeals to apply for a job. This is also evident when a male guest arrives and throws around his authority to cook and makes a mess out of the kitchen which irate the protagonist.
The sickening truth is many households still see such men who treat his wife as a provider of his needs and not his equal as a partner or even as a fellow human being. The scenes where he gets peeved for being told about table manners by his wife or in the scene where the wife requests for a foreplay as it hurts her, the sheer mockery and the absurd arrogance and domination showed by the husband is a hard hitting reality.
The father-in-law shows his austerity in his own way, when he asks his daughter-in-law to use the traditional method and not a cooker for preparing rice, not to wash his clothes in washing machine, in making her a mere puppet by sticking to house-hold chores and not to apply for a job. The audacity he has when he asks his daughter-in-law to fetch his tooth brush & paste takes us to the extreme hatred for his character.
The film deals rather blatantly upon the taboo topic of the women struggling with untouchability during menstruation. Clearly a fellow female (the aunt) is more interested in making the protagonists’ life miserable by forcing her to follow the rules during those days. Sleeping in a mat, to not using anything that can’t be washed, forcing her to clean everything with holy water after 7 days, demanding her to burn her sanitary napkins and hide her undergarments from being visible to other men in the house, oh gosh the list is tiring and endless. Furthermore, the father-in-law makes the place holy again by spraying holy water around the house on the last day.
The double standards between men and women is very evident when a priest suggests that the husband should to eat/drink cow dung or urine to wash away the sin of being touched by menstruating female. He adds that’s not necessary and merely suggests taking a dip in Holy River, to wash away. The disparity is very clear that mending rules for their (men’s) convenience is the order and a norm.
At the end when the protagonist returns home only to see her brother being breaded in the same way that she was trying to break shackles from, her outburst is a but natural and much needed. And in the clear contrast the husband remarries, suggesting the society will never change unless we make a move.
Interestingly all the characters in the movie are named with the role they play, wife, husband, husband’s father (Achan), husband’s mother (Ammayi), wife’s mother and so on. They dint have any names!
A fitting end to the movie is that of the protagonist walking out of her misery. The movie suggests and stands by its opinion that it’s okay to have that courage and to stand for themselves in times of difficulty and not to adjust and cooperate with the wrongness of the men in their life showcasing the contrast life of hers with that of her mother/mother-in-law. Many women need that kind of self assurance as still in today’s world, women are being subjected to domestic violence and the number has alarmingly increased during this lockdown.
As a product of such pre-fixed gender roles that we play especially after marriage for the sake of family & children, I know the decision and to be decisive is always difficult and comes with an, what if. It is tough. But when the going gets tough it is okay to break out and move on. Giving ourselves a second chance to life to live the way we wanted is not a shameful act. Let’s get on and be supportive for everyone goes through a silent ordeal behind closed doors. Not because you don’t see it with your view or naked eye, it is not there. Choose kindness over hatred.
